Friday, December 28, 2012

Hard to Believe

Here's something I've just read that I find hard to believe.

This time, I read it and re-read it.

"Who provides food for the raven when its young cry out to God and wander about for lack of food?"
Job 38:41

God provides food for the birds.

God is the ultimate Provider, the true Provider.

Here's also what Jesus said.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Matthew 6:26

God provides food for birds of the air.

God says we, humans, are much more valuable than birds.

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
Matthew 6:27

God says, "Why worry? Not a single hour is added to your life by worrying."

Conclusion, "Stop worrying, because you're loved. Dearly loved by God.

God cares about you. God loves you."

I take comfort in that truth.

God wants us to take comfort in the truth that He loves us and cares about us.

Thank you, God.

Thank you, Jesus.
 

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Where were you when I laid the earth's foundations?

Job 38:4

Job suffered greatly.

Job was suffering so badly that he wanted to die.

He even wondered why he didn't die in his mother's womb.

He despised the day of his birth.

Why then did you bring me out of the womb? I wish I had died before any eye saw me. (Job 10:18)

This is a similar lament to that of Jeremiah whose suffering also resulted in this cry of despair that he didn't die in his mother's womb.

Cursed be the day I was born! May the day my mother bore me not be blessed! (Jeremiah 20:14)

For he did not kill me in the womb, with my mother as my grave, her womb enlarged forever. (Jeremiah 20:17)

In all this, God's answer is this.

Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand. (Job 38:4)

The answer to this question is Job wasn't there when God laid the foundation of the earth.

Job doesn't understand how God laid the earth's foundation.

Job is not as wise as God

Job is not as loving as God

Job doesn't understand how God created everything that has been created.

God perfectly understands how He created everything that has been created.

Job doesn't understand everything.

God understands everything.

Job doesn't understand why he's suffering so badly that he wants to die, and even wishes that he was never born.

God understands exactly, and yea perfectly, why Job is suffering.

God brought suffering to Job.

Job doesn't understand why God did it.

But God understands exactly why He brought suffering to Job.

Job suffered.

God knows Job suffered.

There's a reason and purpose for it.

Job didn't know how much of an impact his suffering would bring about in the millenia to come.

How many millions of people around the world would find great comfort and reassurance from knowing that they're not alone in all this.

That God is present and that God knows all our suffering and that God Himself suffered.

Jesus suffered.

He died on the cross.

He suffered greatly.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.
Isaiah 53:5

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.
1 Peter 2:24

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Why Does That Unpleasant Experience Keep Happening In My Life?

A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge,
but the simple keep going and suffer for it.
Proverbs 22:3

This is a simple proverb and yet give us a very powerful principle.

When you see danger, take refuge (or take actions to avoid it).

If you keep going and suffer for it, you'd be a simple (or foolish) person.

Is there something unpleasant in your life that keeps recurring?

Why does it keep recurring in your life?

Have you thought about the causes of your suffering?

Could it be you that is the cause of your own suffering?

What steps have you taken to remove that danger (or obstacle, barrier) to prevent that suffering?

Whether it be money problems, relationship problems, work-related problems, or any other sort of problems, in most cases, there are solutions to these problems.

There are already many books, blogs, and other helpful resources on the problems mentioned above available on the internet.

It's only a few clicks away, or a few searches on Amazon or just a few minutes of googling to find solutions to problems we already have.

Let's get started. Rather than keep going and suffer for it, let us recognise danger and take refuge.

And I'm talking to myself here as well, otherwise I'd be a complete hypocrite.

Friday, December 14, 2012

The Principle Of 80% To Prevent Unnecessary Stress

This is a principle I found quite helpful when applied to any type of task or goal you're trying to achieve.

It has helped me to reduce my perfectionism.

Principle: Try and aim for completing only 80% of your imagined initial task / aim / goal.

For example,

  • If you plan to study for a solid 30 minutes, try and study for only 80% of that time i.e. 24 minutes.

  • If you plan to run for 30 minutes, try and run for only 80% of that time i.e. 24 minutes.

  • If you plan to read 10 pages of a certain book, try and read only 8 pages (80%).

  • If you plan to write a blog post, try and write only 80% of the content you initially aimed for.

Deliberately lowering the bar of expectation greatly reduces the stress because it's a lot easier to achieve only 80% of the task / aim / goal imagined.

Otherwise, you'd feel uneasy (especially if you're a perfectionist) because you feel the task hasn't been completed or completed to your satisfaction.

For example, the principle also applies to the quality of the works you produced. Deliberately aim for 80% of the imagined quality of your work.

So after you produce a work / works, you feel satisfied rather than feel uneasy and unsatisfied and increase your stress levels.

I feel that the quality of this blog post is about 80% of what I imagined. So I am quite satisfied. :-)


P.S.
This principle also helps with procrastination as well.

One of the reasons why people procrastinate is because they think that unless they're well prepared and ready or feel just right to begin a task, they won't even start the task they want accomplished.

If you feel only 80% motivated, and think you could only accomplish 80% of the task if you started, you're in the right state to begin the task.

More often than not, actually you accomplish more than you imagined you could because the momentum builds up once you start the task.

Principle: Try and aim for completing only 80% of your imagined initial task / aim / goal.

Eat honey, my son, for it is good

Eat honey, my son, for it is good;
honey from the comb is sweet to your taste.

Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul;
if you find it, there is a future hope for you,
and your hope will not be cut off.

Proverbs 24:13, 14

It's easy to eat honey because it is sweet to my taste.

But our souls have taste buds as well. And our souls crave wisdom.

This verse says that if we find wisdom, there is a future hope for us.

And our hope will not be cut off.

So I seek wisdom.

My future is directly related to the wisdom I have.

Wisdom = Honey

May I eat wisdom every day. Preferably, 3 times a day for my soul.

Then, there is definitely a future hope for me.

And it will not be cut off.

Yeah!

Friday, November 30, 2012

A Day Job vs A Dream Job

Do you like the job you have?

Or are you daydreaming about your dream job?

I just read, Quitter by Jon Acuff.

It is a book about how to close the gap between your day job & your dream job.

If you have ever felt that you have always wanted to do _____, but are doing _____ instead. This is probably a right book to read to help you do _____ instead of _____.

This book has helpful guidance on how to get to your dream job from your day job.

The basic message of the book is that don't quit your day job just yet, if you have no means to provide for yourself after you quit.

Work on your dream job in your spare time such as before work, after work or on weekends until you can provide for yourself with the income generated from your dream job.

The book also gives you helpful advice on how to fall in like with a job you don't love and why you need to do it, and how to avoid pitfalls of quitting a job prematurely.

You may already be working in your dream job.

Or you may be working in a day job, and daydreaming about your dream job.
There are also helpful questions at the end of the book that help you decide whether you're ready to quit your day job or not, or whether you're already working in your dream job or not.

Jon Acuff shows in this book that it is possible to pursue your dream job while working in a day job.

He has a plenty of personal stories to offer because he's been there, done that, and got the T-shirt.


Related posts:


The Principle of the Path

Direction, Not Intention, Determines Destination


Where will you end up in 5 years?

Where did you want to end up 5 years ago?

Are you at where you wanted to be 5 years ago?

I'm going to talk about "the Principle of the Path."

The Principle of the Path states that, regardless of where you want to end up or who you want to become, if the path you're taking today does not lead to where you want to end up, you won't end up there.

It is as simple as that.

For example, say, if you wanted to go to Singapore, and took a plane headed to Poland, you won't end up in Singapore.

If you wanted to go buy a new laptop, and went to a fruit & vegetables store, you won't be able to buy a laptop.

If you wanted to go to a music school, and went to a business school instead, you won't go to a music school.

If you wanted to do well at school and become a successful businessman, but now if you're spending all your time watching TV and surfing on the internet, checking emails and Facebook, the chances are the path you're taking at the moment does not lead you to your desired destination, but rather to more of TV watching, internet surfing, and email & Facebook checking.

Your intention might be to become a successful writer, but if you're spending all your precious time doing something else, the chances are your path is not leading you to become a successful writer, but becoming something else other than a successful writer.

It is so simple. Yet, we sometimes naively assume and presume that just daydreaming and thinking about our desired destination would lead us to it somehow. 

The truth is that we have to be on the right path and take steps now, no matter how many steps and how long it takes to get us to our destination.

Just as every morning when we get up and get in the car, we have certain directions that we must take to get to work, we must take certain directions in our lives to take us to our desired destination.

Scenario 1:
  • Bob lives in Singapore. 
  • He wanted to go to New York (Intention).
  • He took a plane headed to Australia (Direction).

  • Result: He ended up somewhere he didn't want to be (Destination).

Scenario 2:
  • Bob lives in Singapore.
  • He wanted to go to New York (Intention).
  • He took a plane headed to New York (Direction)

  • Result: He ended up in New York where he wanted to be (Destination).

Intention was the same in both scenarios, yet Bob ended up in different destinations, depending on the directions each plane took.

Therefore, 

Direction, Not Intention, Determines Destination.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Joy and Sorrow by Kahlil Gibran


Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.


Create Your Future Now!

Do you love movies, TV shows, dramas and songs that depict stories, scenes and relationships of your wildest dreams?

People often watch movies, TV shows, and dramas, and listen to songs to feed their desire to live the kind of life depicted in these fantasy lands.

  • I want to be like that person!
  • I want to live the kind of life that person in the movie is living!
  • I want to have the kind of relationship depicted in that drama!
  • I want that life/place/relationship I see with my own eyes on TV in my life!


Wishful thinking vs Reality 

  • Do you truly want to live the kind of life you have always dreamed of?

  • Will you live the kind of life you have always wanted to live?


The questions then is what are you doing today to bring about that change in your life, a transition from wishful thinking to reality in your life?

Or are you content with the way things are?

Would you be satisfied with that wishful thinking in your head to stay as it is only in your mind, or are you taking steps to bring about change in your reality today?


Here's a confrontational question.

  • What have you done this year to transform your reality from that of wishful thinking to that of your wildest dreams?

It can be very disturbing if one has lived so far this year with nothing to reflect on in terms of steps taken to bring about that change.

Because if you have lived so far this year just like the way you have lived in the last five years, it is very likely you'd spend another year in the same way you have lived this year.


Create your future NOW!

If it's 5pm 28/11/2012 now, 6pm 28/11/2012 is my future.
6pm 28/11/2012 will become NOW an hour later.

If I make some changes in the direction towards my ideal life  even if they may be miniscule, my life at 6pm 28/11/2012 will be different as a result of the changes made NOW!

Multiply that by 7, i.e., a week later you'd be living a life closer to that of your ideal.

Multiply by 30, i.e., a month later, I'd be living a life even closer to that of my ideal.

Multiply by 365, i.e. a year later, you and I would be living a life much more closer to that of our ideal.

What was once just wishful thinking becomes a reality in our lives once we realise the only way to bring about that change is through changes made right NOW!


My dreams are worthless, my plans are dust, my goals are impossible.
All are of no value unless they are followed by action.
I will act NOW. I will act NOW. I WILL ACT NOW!

Scroll IX, The Greatest Salesman In The World by Og Mandino

Monday, November 26, 2012

Problem-solving

"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them."
Albert Einstein


We face problems all the time in our lives.

The question is not if we'll have problems, but it is how we'll deal with our problems when we face them.

And how we'll prevent the same problems from occuring again!

There are basically two general ways to solve a problem.

  1. Attending to symptoms of a problem 
  2. Attending to cause(s) of a problem


For example,

  • If someone is sick with cough, (with an underlying bacterial lung infection.)

For treatment,

  1. They can have cough medicine to stop the coughing 
      (attending to symptom).

  2. They can be treated with antibiotics to kill bacteria in the 
       lungs (attending to a cause).


If we only stop the coughing, bacteria may still multiply further and cause greater harm to one's health,
Whereas treatment with antibiotics will not only kill the bacteria, but will also take care of the coughing as well.

One can take steps even further and maintain healthy lifestyle to prevent lung infection from developing in the first place, letting the one's own immune system to deal with all the invading organisms such as bacteria, fungi and viruses.

Some of the ways to keep one's body healthy include balanced diet (abundant in fruit and vegetables), exercise (e.g. walking more than 30mins a day), and management of stress (e.g. regular practice of relaxation techniques, and reading inspirational books).

By doing these things (improved diet, exercise and management of stress), one prevents illnesses from occuring at all by boosting one's own immune system and minimising the chance of ill health which may arise from poor dietary habits, lack of exercise and increased stress.

As an example, we can see how many problems arise from a relatively few causes:

       Poor diet
       → Decreased immunity
       → Opportunistic lung infections
       → Coughing, fever, laboured breathing
       → Increased time off work
       → Decreased work productivity
       → Delayed delivery of services and goods
       → Customer complaints + Increased stress of workers in
            many different industries and service sectors
       → Working overtime to meet the demand
       → Workers spend less time spent with family as a result
       → Complaints within family in regards to decreased quality
            time spent with family
       → Marital problems + Strained relationship between parents
            and children
       → Stressed workers turn to smoking (worsening ill health) and
            alcohol (alcoholism + worsening marital relationship; family
            relationship); e.g. Children turn to drugs(for temporary
            pleasure), gang (to seek the sense of identity) and
            sex industry (for comfort and attention) + crime
            (to get drugs, participate in gang activities, and promote
            sex industry)
       → Huge amounts of money are spent in these activities which
            do not result in any productive assets but liabilities
       → And, of course, any of these things can potentially contribute
            to one's poor diet, and poor lifestyle.
            And the vicious cycle continues.


This does not mean poor diet is the cause of all the problems in the world because poor diet itself can be caused by many other things,

  • e.g. busy lifestyle, lack of healthy food choices around the area one's living in, and lack of education.

Now, one can intervene in any part of this chain and attempt to solve a problem or problems. However, unless the cause of a problem is attended to, the vicious cycle will continue.

  • So, my question to readers is "what caused that problem that you have?"

  • The follow-up question is "what caused that cause of the problem that you have?"

  • And "what is the cause of the cause which caused the problem that you have?" and so on.


This is the domino effect.

  • For example, if a CEO of a certain company decided to let its workers to finish at 5pm instead of 7pm, for example, the overall benefit may outweigh the risks involved in decreased work time. 

  • Additional 2 hours offered to workers may provide them with more opportunities to attend to their own needs in regards to quality time with one's spouse, more time spent with children, more time to relax and rest to store up energy for the next day at work.


This is hypothetical but I believe it's not a far-fetched idea either.

  • At least, I know of the Ford company's case where the CEO, Henry Ford granting more money to the workers at Ford than the baseline wages prevalent in other companies at the time resulted in greater productivity and overall boosted morale of the workers.


Eisteinstein may be right in saying that "The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them."


Will the cough medicine stop the coughing? Yes.
Will one be ok in the long term with just the cough medicine when the real culprit is the bacteria in the lungs? No.

How To Eliminate Negative Emotions: Guilt

I don't believe in guilt, I believe in living on impulse as long as you never intentionally hurt another person, and don't judge people in your life. I think you should live completely free. 
Angelina Jolie

No work or love will flourish out of guilt, fear, or hollowness of heart, just as no valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now. 
Alan Watts

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
St John, the disciple of Jesus


What is the definition of guilt?


  • Remorse or self-reproach caused by feeling that one is responsible for a wrong or offence (The Free Dictionary)


What causes guilt?

Guilt is a feeling that one gets when one feels remorse that one has done something wrong.

First of all, it is important to recognise the source of guilt. For someone to feel guilty, they have to have a set of beliefs where one believes somethings are right to do while believing other things are wrong to do.


For example,

One may believe it is wrong to write a personal name in red. (Names in red signify death and bad luck in some East Asian cultures.)

The feeling of guilt arises when the person believing the above statement write someone's name in red.

For someone who believes it is ok to write a personal name in red, he/she wouldn't have a guilty feeling whenever he/she writes anyone's name in red.

Therefore, it's important to recognise the reason/belief underneath the feeling of guilt. Whenever you feel guilty, try and uncover beliefs underneath those feelings of guilt.

E.g.
  • If you feel guilty, whenever you eat too much,
  • The underlying belief might be "it is wrong to eat too much."

  • If you feel guilty, whenever you eat meat,
  • The underlying belief might be "it is wrong to eat an animal"

Different cultures have different beliefs. For some cultures, it is wrong to eat beef while for another culture, it is wrong to have pork. Therefore, these beliefs are subjective, and can be culturally dependent.


Types of guilt

Additionally, you can generate guilt by doing something wrong to yourself, and/or others.

For example,

  1. If you feel guilty when you consume too much food, it may only
      affect you emotionally, and not others.

  2. However, if you hurt someone, you may feel guilty as well as
      negatively affecting the hurt person physically and emotionally.


There are two practical solutions to remove guilt from your emotinal life.

  I. Change your beliefs
  II. Forgive yourself and/or ask for forgiveness from others whom 
       you have wronged against


However, the solution I can be a double-edged sword. For example, if you no longer feel any guilt eating too much, you may end up gaining considerable weight and suffer the consequences of ill-health. Whereas, no longer believing that the consumption of pork is wrong and start eating pork may result in no negative consequences at all, well, at least nutritionally so to speak.

It requires discernment. Your beliefs pave the path of your emotional life and your future. Depending on what kind of beliefs you have, you may change the course of your emotinal life and your future. (I may write more articles about "beliefs and their impact on our lives" in the future.)


The solution II is essential to remove the feeling of guilt from your emotional life. If you feel you have done something wrong to someone, ask for their forgiveness. This needs courage. Regardless of whether they choose to forgive you or not, it is important that you take that first step of courage to ask for their forgiveness, humbling yourself before them.


If they chose to forgive you, receive their forgiveness, and forgive yourself as well.

If they chose not to forgive you, you are left with two options. You can carry that feeling of guilt in your emotional life until they forgive you (if ever), or you can let go of that guilt and get on with your life (and do not make the same fault again!).

The former nibbles away your emotional resilience, while the latter restores your emotional health. The former pulls your soul down to a dark abyss, while the latter pulls you out of that dark abyss into a brilliant light of day.


Prevention

If you are to prevent that guilt from taking root in your heart again, it is imperative that you do not make the same fault again. It is also relevant to note that you may have had beliefs that do not have any negative consequences to you or others both physically and mentally (e.g. a belief that it's wrong to sing and dance in front of a crowd. (Given that hopefully, one's singing and dancing are not distressing to the crowd!))

Some of us may have made some very grievous faults in the past and hurt others physically and/or emotionally that we deeply regret. Being forgiven doesn't mean you no longer feel any guilt making the same fault. It means you recognise your fault truly, and resolve to not make the same fault again, through discernment and wisdom, hopefully ever! (But if you do make the same fault again, it is important at that point to carefully think over what caused me/you to make that fault again, and seek solutions to that problem and dissolve it with the acid of discernment and wisdom so that the same problem never get a foothold in my/your life.)


Last but not least, have you forgiven others who have hurt you? Are they forgiven?

It is important that you have forgiven others yourself before you ask for their forgiveness, otherwise you're a hypocrite!

Forgiveness needs courage as well. It means cancelling out the debt incurred by others towards you physically and/or emotionally. It means letting of grudge, hatred, and vengeful feelings against others from your emotional life.


Let me tell you an important truth, God chose to forgive me/you because he is love. Receiving that gift of forgiveness, we receive the power and courage to forgive others as well!


He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for every man has need to be forgiven
Thomas Fuller

Forgiveness is the final form of love. 
Reinhold Niebuhr

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
St Paul, the disciple of Jesus

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Becoming Like A Tree

I like this article by Bob Lotich at ChristianPF.

http://christianpf.com/becoming-a-tree/

Patience is such a rare virtue.

Yet its fruit can be abundant once patience takes root deep in the soil of perseverance, and is given enough time to grow.



Saturday, November 24, 2012

Finding Your Purpose In This Life

Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction. 
John F. Kennedy

All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose. 
Brian Tracy

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11


Dictionary Definitions:
  • The aim that someone wants to achieve, or that something is intended to achieve (Macmillan Dictionary)


What is your purpose in life?
What were you born to do and be?
What drives you?
What is your burning passion?
What are your wildest dreams?
What makes you cry?
What do you yearn for?
Who are you?
Who am I?
Who are we?

These are the questions I'd like to ask everyone who's reading this article.
These are the fundamental questions that can potentially turn my/your life upside down.
These are the questions that can shape our lives and us as individuals for better or worse.


What Is Purpose?

  • Purpose is the target you're aiming your arrows at.
  • Purpose is the soil in which all kinds of fruit, vegetables and trees of dreams grow.
  • Purpose is what makes you feel alive truly both emotionally and spiritually.
  • Purpose is what makes you get up in the morning early and energises you for the day.
  • Purpose is the medicine that heals the most severe form of depression and fear.
  • Purpose kisses you in the cheek and smiles at you at all times.


The Truth Is..

  • Purpose is already in you. 
  • He/she's been waiting patiently for you to take a break from the busy life you're leading, and glance at him/her for who he/she is. 
  • He/she's ready to embark on a journey with you. 
  • He/she's ready. 
  • But are you ready? 
  • And are you ready to accept him/her for who he/she is?
  • If you find him/her and accept him/her, you'll find yourself.
  • But if you reject him/her, you'll lose the most precious friendship you can ever possibly have in this life because it is him/her who knows you more than you can ever possibly know by yourself.

Have you found him/her yet? Or have you been found by him/her?
If you have, live NOW!

How To Eliminate Negative Emotions: Anger

Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. 
- Proverbs 17:14

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. 
- Ambrose Bierce

For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind. 
- Ralph Waldo Emerson 


What is anger?

Dictionary definitions:

  • The strong feeling you get when you think someone has treated you badly or unfairly, that makes you want to hurt them or shout at them. (Macmillan Dictionary)

  • A strong emotion or feeling that is oriented toward some real or supposed grievance (The Free Dictionary)


My definition of anger is that it's an emotion that one feels when one's real or supposed rights have been violated.

There are different types of anger:

  1. Righteous anger
  2. Unrighteous anger
  3. Grey area

Righteous anger is an appropriate emotion triggered in response to injustice, crime and/or violence.

Unrighteous anger is an exaggerated emotion triggered in response to "supposed" injustice, crime and/or violence.


The triggering of anger depends on situations.

e.g.

1. Righteous anger - When someone is bullied, one may become angry at the bullies. (It is wrong to bully!)


2. Unrighteous anger - When one finds oneself in a heavy traffic, one may become angry at the person in front of him/her for not moving fast enough. (Stuck in the traffic together, even if one wants to go fast, they can't)


3. Grey area - When someone is late for the meeting, and one has to wait for that person and become impatient and angry at the person who is running late. (Is this justifiable anger?)


Harmful effects of unrighteous anger:

  • Physically, the strong emotion of anger causes blood pressure to rise in the body, and releasing stress hormones that could potentially decrease one's immunity, becoming more susceptible to opportunistic infections. 

  • Emotionally and socially, angry person can provoke people around them to become angry as well, spreading the virus of anger around them.


Notice, one only becomes angry when one finds oneself in these situations or imagine being in these situations.


  • In situation 1, when the bullies stop bullying, one's anger dissipates.

  • In situation 2, when there's no heavy traffic, one's anger dissipates as well. However, what if you have to go through that heavy traffic every morning and night?

  • In situation 3, when you don't meet up with that person who's habitually late, your anger dissipates but what if he/she's your friend, or family member? And you meet up with that person regularly?


My defintion of anger is the strong emotion that is triggered in response to the true (or supposed) violation of one's rights.


  • In situation 1, one's right of "not to be bullied" was violated and the anger was triggered in response to the injustice of "bullying."

  • In situation 2, one's "supposed" right of "not to be stuck in the traffic and be late for school or work" was violated, and the anger was triggered in response to the "supposed" injustice of "heavy traffic."

  • In situation 3, one's "supposed" right of "not having to wait for someone" was violated, and the anger was triggered in response to the "supposed" injustice of "running late."


Now, regardless of the types of anger, the cure for anger is the same.

  • Preventing that recurring situation all together, or understanding the reason(s) behind the true or "supposed" injustice can also help with the anger as well!


Here's what I mean,

For situation 1, when bullies are removed (e.g. reprimand, suspension or expelled), there's no anger to be triggered, but it also helps to know why they are bullies in the first place. Statistically speaking, it is highly likely that the bullies were raised in some kind of dysfunctional families, and lived in violent/abusive neighbourhoods. Although the fact that the bullies were raised in these harsh environments does not justify their bullying, it helps people to understand where they're coming from, and how to solve the cause of the problems rather than just bluntly reprimand them for their bad behaviour.

For situation 2, one can leave home early when there's less traffic, or move into areas where it's closer to school or work, or write a letter to the city council for requesting the improvement of the traffic system. Of course, at this point, it helps to know why one becomes angry in the heavy traffic in the first place because not everyone in that heavy traffic become angry.

One possible cause of the anger may be just due to one's own personal issues at home or work, and it's just a way of venting one's anger at "supposed injustice." If one can solve the underlying issues, there might be no need for venting fruitless/needless anger in the first place in the heavy traffic.

In the situation 3, one may choose not to meet up at all with the person who's perennially late, or one could turn up late as well, at the expected time when the person who's usually running late turns up. Or if it's appropriate, one may bring up the issue of one's anger/annoyance at the other person running late, and find out what the causes of running late are, then it might help one to bear the other's person's lateness better. For example, I know at least one person who always turns up a bit late deliberately, just to make the waiting person anxious for his/her arrival. It was his/her way to feel needed by the waiting person, a sign of insecurity. Of course, not everyone is late for this reason, some are terrible at organising time, and some just leave late, and arrive late. Duh.

However, honest conversations about these issues can at least begin the process of resolving them eventually (whether resolved or not).

Anger, frustration and annoyance can be eliminated with appropriate actions that prevent the certain situations from occuring, and understanding of the causes of anger could also reduce the amount of anger one feels significantly as one gains more insight into how anger is triggered and begin the process of healing.

How To Increase Your Happiness

There are many ways to increase your happiness.
Some of the methods I employ to increase my own happiness are:

1. Positive Mindset

I read "Proverbs" and "Greatest Salesman in the World" frequently. The words of these books become part of my mental life, and I am transformed from the inside out.

At the moment, I'm reading Proverbs 22-24, and the 8th Scroll of the "Greatest Salesman in the World"

e.g.
Proverbs 24:13, 14
  • Eat honey, my son, for it is good; honey from the comb is sweet to your taste.
  • Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul; if you find it, there is a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.

8th Scroll
  • Today I will multiply my value a hundredfold.
  • One grain of wheat when multiplied a hundredfold will produce a hundred stalks.
  • Multiply these a hundredfold, ten times, and they will feed all the cities of the earth.
  • Am I not more than a grain of wheat?

2. Eliminating situations that trigger negative emotions

Do you constantly find yourself in situations where you are disturbed and annoyed, or become angry and depressed or both?

Analyse what triggers your negative emotions, and eliminate them!

e.g. 
  • When arguments arise, I don't engage in them (given arguments are fruitless and do not lead to any solutions per se.)

  • When I'm insulted, I ignore them.
    • A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man ignores an insult. (Proverbs 12:16)

If I don't participate in these fruitless provoking situations, negative emotions have no chance of bearing any toxic fruit in my mind and body


3. Love of God

I also read the word of God in regards to His Love frequently.

Romans 8:35, 38, 39
  • Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?

  • For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,

  • neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


Friday, November 23, 2012

Marriage


Two Rivers

Two rivers may flow smoothly before they merge; but when they flow together, they often become tumultuous.

Each river has its own current which collides with the current of the other river. This creates powerful undercurrents and spectacular rapids. As the rivers flow downstream, the collision of currents subsides, and the new river emerges—broader, deeper, more powerful.

So it is with good marriages. The forming of any new union may have rough water at first, but as the currents of life merge, the two become broader, deeper, and more powerful.

The two truly become one. As the husband and wife imitate God, he blesses their lives with godly unity. As the two become closer to him, they become closer to one another.

Anders, M. (1999). Vol. 8: Galatians-Colossians. Holman New Testament Commentary; Holman Reference (175). Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers.

Parenting


Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World by Zig Ziglar

It is true that by the time the child becomes an adolescent, he knows exactly what his parents believe.

But he does not always comprehend the reasons behind the beliefs.

And that's why it's important to take time to communicate to your kids why you believe what you believe.

Standards and beliefs are reinforced by conversation; the youth needs to hear himself and his parents, as well as peers, talk about the important aspects of life.

Informal discussions, particiularly, can have a profound impact on the thinking of a youth.

Above all, during the adolescent stage, the child needs to feel the love, confidence, and support of parents.

When acceptance and love come through, the teen will also be open to all kinds of change for the good.

P.60, Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World by Zig Ziglar


Children Learn What They Live

If a child lives with criticism,
He learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,
He learns violence.

If a child lives with ridicule,
He learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame,
He learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with encouragement,
He learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise,
He learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness,
He learns justice.

If a child lives with securit,
He learns faith.

If a child lives with approval,
He learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to love the world.

- Dorothy Law Nolte

P.73, Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World by Zig Ziglar

Paderewski & Queen Victoria


Paderewski & Queen Victoria

"Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. --2 Peter 1:10-11

When Polish pianist Ignacy Jan Paderewski played before Queen Victoria in 1891, he won her approval. She exclaimed, "Mr. Paderewski, you are a genius."

To which Paderewski replied, "Perhaps, Your Majesty, but before that I was a drudge."

In the beginning, Paderewski was discouraged by his teachers from becoming a pianist. But through discipline and hours of practice each day, Paderewski launched his artistic career in 1885 and became known worldwide for his dynamic talents, abilities and infectious personality."


Reference:

Crosswalk.com. Devotionals. (accessed on 24/08/2012)
http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/seniors/senior-living-march-25-11532276.html

Jesus vs Money & Spirit vs Flesh


Jesus vs Money (Mammon)

Money by itself is not a bad thing but it becomes a bad thing if it becomes my/our master and I/we become enslaved to it.

The question is:

Am I serving Jesus with my money?
Or am I serving my money (Mammon) as an idol in my life?


Spirit vs Flesh

When there is a struggle in my heart between what I ought to do, and what my flesh wants me to do, am I identified with the Spirit who gives life, or with the flesh that tries to enslave me?


Ephesians 5:17 - 25

For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.

But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,

idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions,

envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.


Galatians 2:20

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Fear of man vs Fear of God


I must not be deceived by man(men)'s high opinion of me.

I must consider God's opinion of me at all times.


1 Corinthians 4:3-7

I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself.

My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me.

Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.

Now, brothers, I have applied these things to myself and Apollos for your benefit, so that you may learn from us the meaning of the saying, "Do not go beyond what is written." Then you will not take pride in one man over against another.

For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?

Fear Not Man!


Stop trusting in man,
Who has but a breath in his nostrils.
Of what account is he?

- Isaiah 2:22 (NIV)


Stop regarding man
in whose nostrils is breath,
For of what account is he?

- Isaiah 2:22 (ESV)

King of kings & Lord of lords


King of kings & Lord of lords

Deuteronomy 10:17

For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes.


Psalm 136:3

Give thanks to the Lord of lords, for his steadfast love endures forever.


1 Timothy 6:15

Which God will bring about in his own time--God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords

Which he will display at the proper time—he who is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords


Revelation 17:14

They will make war on the Lamb, and the Lamb will conquer them, for he is Lord of lords and King of kings, and those with him are called and chosen and faithful.


Revelation 19:16

On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.

Suffering Servant


Suffering servant - God became a human being, as one of us, and became a servant to serve us, healing us and giving us the gift of salvation and the eternal life, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit.

God is the Greatest.
God is the First.
Yet, God serves us. 

Matthew 20:26
Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.

Matthew 20:27
And whoever wants to be first must be your slave.

Matthew 23:21
The greatest among you will be your servant.

Mark 9:35
Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all."

Mark 10:43
Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant,

Luke 22:26
But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves.

"You are more important than me"
"I serve you because I love you."

Philippians 2:3
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.

Romans 12:10
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

Ephesians 5:21
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.


Imaging the emperor or Prime Minister of the country become a waiter to serve us, or become a doctor to treat/serve us rather than lording it over us.

Judge not lest you be judged but try to understand.

Empathy. Put yourself in their shoes, and try to understand the reason/cause for their behaviour, opinions, words and actions/deeds.

The Battle is the LORD's


1 Samuel 17:47
All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD's, and he will give all of you into our hands.
(- David)

2 Chronicles 20:15
He(The Spirit of the LORD came upon Jahaziel son of Zechariah) said: "Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the LORD says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's.

2 Chronicles 20:17
You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.'"

Reliance on God


2 Chronicles 13:18
The men of Israel were subdued on that occasion, and the men of Judah were victorious because they relied on the LORD, the God of their fathers.

2 Chronicles 14:11-13
Then Asa called to the LORD his God and said, "LORD, there is no one like you to help the powerless against the mighty. Help us, O LORD our God, for we rely on you, and in your name we have come against this vast army. O LORD, you are our God; do not let man prevail against you."

The LORD struck down the Cushites before Asa and Judah. The Cushites fled,

and Asa and his army pursued them as far as Gerar. Such a great number of Cushites fell that they could not recover; they were crushed before the LORD and his forces. The men of Judah carried off a large amount of plunder.


2 Chronicles 15:2
He went out to meet Asa and said to him, "Listen to me, Asa and all Judah and Benjamin. The LORD is with you when you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you.

2 Chronicles 15:7
But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.

2 Chronicles 15:17
Although he did not remove the high places from Israel, Asa's heart was fully committed [to the LORD] all his life. (NIV)

But the high places were not taken out of Israel. Nevertheless, the heart of Asa was wholly true all his days. (ESV)

2 Chronicles 16:7-9
At that time Hanani the seer came to Asa king of Judah and said to him: "Because you relied on the king of Aram and not on the LORD your God, the army of the king of Aram has escaped from your hand.

Were not the Cushites and Libyans a mighty army with great numbers of chariots and horsemen? Yet when you relied on the LORD, he delivered them into your hand.

For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. You have done a foolish thing, and from now on you will be at war."

"For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. You have acted foolishly in this. Indeed, from now on you will surely have wars."
(NASB)

2 Chronicles 16:12
In the thirty-ninth year of his reign Asa was afflicted with a disease in his feet. Though his disease was severe, even in his illness he did not seek help from the LORD, but only from the physicians.

Asa
           20 years of rest (Peace; No war!)
                            ↓
                  Complacency
                            ↓
                     Aspostasy
                            ↓
             Denial of faith & trust in God (Betrayal)



Needs


We may have a need of someone or something but ultimately, it is God who we're always in need of.

We may have no need of someone or something but we're always in need of God's grace, mercy and love.

God's Love



God would do anything to save me.

God would do anything/everything to take good care of me.
God does do everything to take good care of me, emotionally, spiritually, socially and physically.

God is most willing to be vulnerable with me, even when I could hurt him with my words, deeds, behaviour, thoughts and motives.

If I being evil know how to give good gifts to my family, relatives, friends, and my neighbours, how much more will God do for me/us!!


Psalm 132:3-5
I will not enter my house
Or go to my bed --
I will allow no sleep to my eyes,
No slumber to my eyelids,
Till I find a place for the LORD
A dwelling for the Might One of Jacob.

Take each day as it comes. And LIVE IT!



Vengeance is mine!


Vengeance is mine!

Do not retaliate. Jesus paid for their sins, or they'll pay for their sins themselves in eternal hell.

Forgive them because their sins are to be paid either in hell or on the cross of Jesus.

Romans 12:19

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”


Matthew 5:38 - 42

"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'

But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.

And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.

If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.

Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Life & Death


Matthew 10:39
Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Mark 8:35
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.

Luke 9:24
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.

Luke 17:33
Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it.

John 12:25
The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

Jesus Lives Through Us


Jesus lives through us. He lives through us as we train ourselves to see as he sees: to see beyond the external and see the unseen reality.

It means three things:

1. First, that I see Jesus in everything.
  • He is over all and through all and in all. He fills all in all. He who descended is also the one who ascended far above all the heavens, so that He might fill all things. Everything in the universe is an expression of Him.

  • I can either live in the reality that Jesus fills all in all, or I can live by what my physical eyes see. I choose to live in God's reality. 

  • In some way, everyone expresses Jesus. Either Jesus is being formed within them, or He has kept them in disobedience that He may show mercy to all, as Paul says.

  • By faith, I choose to see all as expressions of Jesus. All situations are God coming to me in different forms. I see Jesus in everything.

2. Second, God expects His Son, Jesus, to do it through me.
  • God doesn't expect me to do whatever He instructs me to do by my own efforts. I am not the one He expects to accomplish them.

  • We are containers of Him. He created us to live through us.

3. Third, I trust Jesus to do it.
  • I look only to Jesus in me. Only Jesus can live God's life.

  • Our role is faith - looking only to Jesus to do it.


Reference:

Gregory, David. (2012). Night With A Perfect Stranger. 123-12. Worthy Publishing. USA.

Jesus & Prayer


Matthew 14:23
After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone.

Mark 1:35
Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.

Luke 3:21
When all the people were being baptized, Jesus was baptized too. And as he was praying, heaven was opened

Luke 5:16
But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

Luke 6:12, 13
One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God.

When morning came, he called his disciples to him and chose twelve of them, whom he also designated apostles.

Luke 9:28, 29
About eight days after Jesus said this, he took Peter, John and James with him and went up onto a mountain to pray.

As he was praying, the appearance of his face changed, and his clothes became as bright as a flash of lightning.

We are part of Jesus


We are part of Jesus.

"Saul, Saul. Why are you persecuting me?" (when Paul was persecuting the church?)
It's because Jesus doesn't see the church, or its members, as separate from Himeself. We're one with Him. We're part of Jesus now.

For even as the body is one and yet has many members, and all the members of the body though they are many, are one body, so also is Christ.

Paul isn't comparing the Body of Christ to a human body; he's comparing Christ to a human body. As the body has many members, so also does Christ. Christ has made Himself a corporate being. You are part of that being. So am I.

Compassion

Luke 6:36 
Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.  

Matthew 5:7
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Matthew 19:14
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."



Thank You Sponsors! from Compassion International on Vimeo.

Rewards


Matthew 10:39

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Matthew 10:40

He who receives you receives me, and he who receives me receives the one who sent me.

Matthew 10:41

Anyone who receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet's reward, and anyone who receives a righteous man because he is a righteous man will receive a righteous man's reward.

Matthew 10:42

And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward.

Heart-to-Heart


I didn't wanna hear a word of what they were saying unless they went through it themselves.

-Marc Ford (when he was going through the rehab.)

The Reward for Work is Work


The Reward for Work is Work

The secret of the true love of work is the hope of success in that work, not for the money reward, not for the time spent or for the skill exercised, but for the pride and satisfaction in the accomplishment of the work itself.

A sufficient reward for a thing well done is to have done it.

Reference:
The Greatest Salesman in the World
Part II: The End of the Story
By Og Mandino

Repetition

Repetition is the key to mastery of any skill or formation of any habit.

The Magic of Thinking Big


Success is determined not so much by the size of one's brain as it is by the size of one's thinking.

- p.2, The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz, Ph.D.


WHEN YOU BELIEVE, YOUR MIND FINDS WAYS TO DO.

- p.102, The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz, Ph.D.

Happiness

Happiness = Gratefulness (Knowing what I already have) + Righteous/Neutral desires satisfied (Getting what I want)

My Subconscious Mind


Wealth, Success, Muscular, Masculine, Generosity

Godliness, Boldness, Confidence, Faith, Humility

Truth, Hope, Perseverance, Holiness, Grace

Mercy, Kindness, Gentleness, Self-control, Love

Wealth & Generosity


You can't be generous financially without money.

You cannot feed the hungry, clothe and house the poor and take the sick to the doctor without money.

Wealth & Success! In My Subconscious Mind

Shall Produce the Fruits of Generosity!

Principles of Success


The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy


  1. Love your work
  2. Work hard at it
  3. Serve others


1. Find out what you love to do, and then do it. If you don't know your true expression, ask for guidance, and the lead will come.

2. Specialize in your particular field and try to know more about it than anyone else.

3. A successful man is not selfish. His main desire in life is to serve humanity.

Murphy, Joseph (2010-03-20). The Power of Your Subconscious Mind (p. 78). Wilder Publications. Kindle Edition.

I'm the kind of person who never speaks ill of the dead


A sister you were quite content to see only two or three times a year at holidays and never missed or thought of much in between is now a confidante you'll miss talking to everyday.

I'm the kind of person who never speaks ill of the dead.

- p. 278, 279, The New Psycho-Cybernetics, Dr Maxwell Maltz

How to Deal with a Crisis


"I always think about what I am going to do, and what I want to happen, instead of what the batter is going to do or what may happen to me."

- p252, Hugh Casey, The New Psycho-cybernetcis by Dr Maxwell Maltz

Love & Acceptance


Love & Acceptance

I love and accept the part/trait of him/her that I don't like.
I understand and accept that it's his/her coping mechanism.

I understand that there are reasons/causes for his/her behaviour, words and deeds, just as there are reasons/causes for my behaviour, words and deeds.

Happiness & Decision


Happiness & Decision

No one can decide what your thoughts shall be but yourself.

An optimistic and happy outlook is largely a matter of selection, attention, and decision.

It is merely a matter of what we choose to give primary attention to - and what thoughts we hold in the mind.

Belief & Virtues

Whatever qualities/virtues you want others to have, believe they have them, and they will have them.

Believe first & then the act will follow!

Act first & then the belief will follow!

Love, Choice, Evil, Suffering & Responsibility


Love, Choice, Evil, Suffering & Responsibility

Romans 2:6

God will render to each person according to their deeds. (NASB)

God will give to each person according to what he has done. (NIV)


Isaiah 59:18
According to their deeds, so will he repay, wrath to his adversaries, repayment to his enemies; to the coastlands he will render repayment.


Accodring to our deeds, not thoughts or motives.

We're responsible to love.


Matthew 5:48

Be ye perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.


Romans 6:12

Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts.


My only responsibility is love.


Sin of omission & sin of commission


Revelation 13:8
The Lamb (Jesus) was slain from the creation of the world. (NIV)

Before the foundation of the world in the book of life of the Lamb who was slain. (ESV)


You can't have love without a choice to love and not to love.
You can't have love without the abuse and misuse of love.
The abuse and misuse of love is evil.

Love and responsibility go together.

You can't have evil without love either.

Love necessiates evil and suffering.
Evil and suffering necessiate love.

Forgiveness


I become completely free when I realise that there's actually nothing to forgive.

Neither do I condemn you.
- Jesus


We cancel the debt, mark it "null and void," not because we have made the other person "pay" sufficiently for the wrong, but because we have come to recognise that the debt itself is not valid.

True forgiveness comes only when we are able to see, and emotionally accept, that there is and was nothing for us to forgive.

We should not have condemned or hated the other person in the first place.

- p196, The New Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz, M.D. F.I.C.S.

Self-discipline


Self-discipline


Self-discipline is the ability to make yourself do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not.

- Elbert Hubbard, Eat That Frog! By Brian Tracy

I will ACT NOW!


I will ACT NOW!

- The Scroll IX, The Greatest Salesman In The World by Og Mandino


Do It NOW!

Back to WORK!

- Eat That Frog! By Brian Tracy

Positive Self-Image


Positive Self-Image
→ Positive Thoughts
→ Positive Actions
→ Positive Outcomes / Results / Fruit

I am a man of love just as Jesus is the Man of Love.


Positive Thought / Belief / Visualisation
+ Positive Action
→  Reality // Progressive Growth / Change

Visualisation + Dreams → Reality Today! NOW!
→ ↑ Confidence & Faith


Establish a very good memory today to be remembered at a later date.

Make today a great success & it shall be recalled later to bring about more successes!

Today's going to be the best day ever! Building up confidence!
Today's gonna be the happiest day ever!

Do not look behind, look forward
Forget the past failures, look forward to future successes!
& create future successes!

Reproof / Correction


Proverbs 15:32

He who ignores discipline despises himself,
But whoever heeds correction gains understanding.

Whoever ignores instruction despises himself,
But he who listens to reproof gains intelligence.

Friend


You can't be a friend to others unless you're a friend to yourself.
You can't be a success with others unless you're a success with yourself first.
You can't have the love of other people unless you have the love of yourself first.

- Psycho-cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz

I'm feeling better and better


Every day in every way, I'm feeling better and better.

p.120, Maximum Achievement by Brian Tracy

What I Want To Tell Myself


What I would to tell myself if I were already a 90 year-old man, and had a chance to talk to myself as of now.

"Be courageous!"
"Be strong!"
"Take courage"

Deuteronomy 31:6

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.


Joshua 1:9

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.


Ephesian 6:10

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. (NIV)

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. (ESV)

Healthy pride vs Vanity


Healthy pride vs Vanity

Healthy pride is an honest evaluation of that which is good.
Feeling proud of something that is good and worthy.
God
Virtues in our family members, friends, community and country.

Vanity is false pride, and it truly is one of the most negative, destructive qualities a person can have.
Excessive pride in one's appearance, possessions or accomplishments.
Ref. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/vanity
Idolatry
Feeling proud of something that is not good and not worthy.


PRIDE
Personal Responsibility In Daily Endeavours

- p. 76, 77, Over The Top by Zig Ziglar

Aha moments!

"Life had taught me that true contentment and total success come from the things money can't buy.

Don't misunderstand. I like the things money can buy, and I'll bet you do, too. I like nice clothes, a beautiful residence, big, comfortable cars, relaxing vacations, membership in a nice country club, and so on.

However, I love the things money won't buy. 
It will buy me a house, but not a home; 
a bed, but not a good night's sleep; 
pleasure, but not happiness; 
a good time, but not peace of mind; 
and a companion, but not a friend."

- p.15, Over The Top by Zig Ziglar, (1994).
Thomas Nelson Publishers.


(23/08/2012)
There was nothing for me to forgive!
There was nothing to accuse anyone of anything in the first place.

-p. 163, Psycho-cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz (1969)

Heinousness of sin!
Victims of sin sin and beget more victims who become sinners who beget more victim-sinners.


Happiness


Oh Boy, it's a great day to get out and take advantage of the opportunities God offers.

-p.236, See You At The Top by Zig Ziglar,
(Forty-Second Printing, June 1987).


It's true that all of us are happy - or happier - when our relationships with those we love or encounter on a regular basis are good.

However, we do need to understand that nobody else can make us happy.

Good relationships contribute to our pleasure and happiness, BUT we're the ones who play the key role in building good relationships.

- p.174, Over the Top by Zig Ziglar, (1994).


Most Americans honestly believe America is the most powerful nation on earth, but actually, the most powerful nation is Imagi-nation.

- p.218, Over the Top by Zig Ziglar, (1994).

Good-finder


Good-finder

Don't talk about the weaknesses/faults/flaws/mistakes made about yourself or others, especially with family members.
This is just harping on about it.
This is doing your head in.

Remember,
"You are altogether beautiful, my darling, And there is no blemish in you."
"All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you."
"You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you."

- God, Song of Solomon 4:7


Only talk about your weaknesses/faults/flaws/mistakes made if you're repenting of them.
Repentance → Change / Sanctification

Mood & Problems, and Solution & Joy


Mood ~ Problems

When problems arise, my mood goes down.
When problems are solved, my mood goes up!!

Problem-solving!!!
→ Improved mood!
Solution! → Improved mood!!

Do not rely on others to deliver what I need, if I can do it myself, do it myself.

Enthusiasm


'Enthusiasm' literally means "God within"

P.91, Raising positive kids in a negative world by Zig Ziglar

Give, Give, GIVE!


Give, Give, GIVE!

Never think about what they can do for me.

Always think about what I can do for them.


On my death bed, would I regret saying,

"I wish I'd served more,
I wish I'd loved more,
I wish I'd given myself to others more."?

So NOW serve, serve, SERVE!!!!!!!
And love, LOVE, LOVE!!!!!!!

Welcome

Welcome fear, depression, pain & shame with both hands.

Masquerade


I put on a mask at work and at home.

However, I remove my mask before the LORD, my God.

Service


The question is not whether they can they do something for me, but rather
what can I do for them? What can I do for you?

No Assumptions!


I can't assume anything in my life.

What I should do, instead, is to put complete trust in the LORD. And He will ACT!
- Psalm 37:5

Luke 7:23
Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me. (NIV)
And blessed is the one who is not offended by me. (ESV)

Earl Nightingale: Fear of the Time it will take to Accomplish


"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use."

- Earl Nightingale

Outside equals Inside


Outside = Inside

What I see out there with my eyes in my life is what I see with my inner eyes in my heart.

What I see out there is what I have already visualised in my heart.

What I see in reality is what I have already visualised and determined in my heart.

Three Positive Rules of Accomplishment


Three Positive Rules of Accomplishment

1. Read the list of what you want three times each day: morning, noon and night.

2. Think of what you want as often as possible.

3. Do not talk to anyone about your plan except to Jesus who is alive in you who will unfold to your Objective Mind the method of accomplishment.

- It Works! by R. H. Jarrett

Monday, January 9, 2012

Tongue

Proverbs 26:28

A lying tongue hates its victims,
and a flattering mouth works ruin.

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